Why Your Best Friend Shouldn’t Be Your First Confidant

Why Your Best Friend Shouldn't Be Your First Confidant

Jerry and I have to get a new modem. And router. And it seems, all things possible regarding the internet. Daily, well to be honest, several times during the day, I hear those less than precious words, “Maawwwm, the internet. It’s not working. Again.”

Part of it is that we live somewhat in the boonies, and the latest and greatest has not yet come  to our neck of the woods. And the other part is that the internet equipment we currently have in our home is not compatible with the constant updates happening automatically to our “smart this or that” while we are sleeping. But the other component is that neither Jerry or I, by choice, have the savvy or vocabulary to know what in the world the salesperson is spinning when we do get the courage to step out into the twilight zone of the cyber world.

And so, we go in equipped with a smidgen of the talk, linking words together much like you would when trying to communicate in a foreign country. Hoping to gather enough information to politely say, “Thank you for your help. We’ll think on it and get back to you,” we escape to the parking lot as if we are bolting out of a burning building. Gathering our wits and exhaling in relief that we made it out before purchasing some outlandish item that we really didn’t need, don’t want, and won’t know how to use, we retreat home to get counsel and gather much needed information. Whew!

Why We Need Each Other

Isn’t that the way it is in some way or another for all of us? If it’s not the unknown world of the internet like it is for Jerry and me, it’s the unknown of health care, of stocks and bonds, of which car to buy, or worse yet, the much dreaded arena of taxes and the I…R…S. Yikes!

You name it, and there are a thousand other things we are clueless about that each of us faces every second. And thank God, we are. For when we truly see ourselves as less than perfect—that in one way or another we are lacking—mercy and compassion for each other has a chance to grow within our hearts. But that is not the only blessing we receive. For when we let go of the tight-fisted pride of I can do it alone—the stamp of self sufficiency—and let others know we need them in our lives, the bonds of friendship are allowed to blossom.

So, thank God we are finite beings who can’t possibly know everything because it helps us to see not only do we need each other, but we need each other wisely.

Why We Need Each Other Wisely

I used to be someone when something less than wonderful happened, would run around very much like a chicken without its head. Going from one friend to the next gathering all manner of advice, good or bad, reacting first this way or that, was my modus operandi.

That is exhausting. But I am learning that while it’s not bad to get counsel from friends—because the Lord tells us in Proverbs 11:14 that “where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors, there is safety”—it is best to seek what God thinks, first.

He is sovereign,


and lives outside the constraints of time.

His perspective is perfect and because He loves us, what could be better? “If God be for us, who can be against us?” (See Romans 8:31.)  

When we start with His Word, and seek Him in prayer, He lines up and orchestrates from whom we should get the much needed counsel, that word which will point us in the right direction. “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.” Psalm 32:8 (ESV)

And that goes for all of life. For every vast tidbit that we can’t get a handle on, that we choose not to or can’t possibly know, down to the very last detail.

God cares for us and loves us so much.
Even to which modem we should buy.


Further Reading:

Job 12:13
“With God are wisdom and might; he has counsel and understanding.

Psalm 16:7
I bless the Lord who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me.



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